So you're considering making new friends as an "adult"? Maybe you have moved to a new area or have moved back home after a long stint away, or maybe life has changed to a point where you are finally feeling ready to reach back out and start connecting. Whatever the reason, we understand that making new friends as an adult can be challenging, and that's why we are here to help.
As adults, we are unfortunately less likely to be exposed to situations conventionally suited to "friend making". Unlike when we were at school, were friend making was an accepted daily occurrence, as adults we tend to limit ourselves to the belief that we should have it all figured out by now. Also, as we get older, we tend to be more concerned with how other people perceive us, and as such, are more likely to limit or avoid situations that could pose a possible threat of social rejection or embarrassment, which friend making requires.
We get it. Friend making is scary and requires significant time and effort. The truth however is most of us would welcome a new friendship in a heartbeat if we were given the chance.
As we get older, we are constantly reinventing and re-evaluating ourselves, learning, unlearning, growing, developing, and as we do, we enter new chapters of our lives, close old ones, and evolve. We know ourselves better and have been around the block a few times learning some hard lessons along the way. This makes us more likely to know exactly what we want out of life, and in other people, and as such, are much more likely to attract people who align with our values, interests, and lifestyle. Furthermore, given our access to travel and social media, we are no longer limited to the confines of our local areas and can therefore meet a much wider range of people and form much deeper connections with those who appeal to our shared common interests.
Adulthood is therefore the perfect time to start over and make new friends, and this belief was at the heart why Salty Sea Sisters was formed in the first place.
The best friendships take time, commitment, and the right mindset, so with all that considered, here are our top tips for making friends as an "adult:
1. Know yourself
At the top of our friend making list is knowing yourself. Knowing who you are, your likes, dislikes, what you value, and what qualities you find important in a friendship will allow you to make the right choices for you, and form deeper connections with those who appeal to your shared interests.
2. Put yourself out there
As clunky as it may feel, you won't make new friends sitting at home on the sofa. Making friends as an adult requires stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself into new social situations. Be open, approachable, and willing to initiate conversations (the hardest part!). Building friendships takes time and effort, but the rewards of meaningful connections are well worth it.
3. Join groups or clubs in things that interest you & go to meet ups
One effective way to make new friends is by joining clubs or groups that align with your interests. Whether it's a book club, a hiking group, or a cooking class, shared interests can be a great foundation for building new friendships, and most importanly attend their meet ups. If you're looking for inspiration, we have lovingly collated a free directory of groups (marked as either free, paid, mixed, and/or women only) on our website Tribe Finder page. We encourage you to reach out and message any of the groups listed, and even attend one of their meet-up’s.
4. Reach out to people with similar interests on social media
Social media is great for making friends, because you can gage from a persons profile whether they have similar interests to you, or have any friends in common. This was a key aspect in driving Salty Sea Sisters forward, as we continuously promote locations, people, activities, events and communities on our Instagram page, actively encouraging you to “like”, support and message each other! If we share a group or individual or location on our feed/story, reach out to them, go for a dip, ask them about their hike or even invite for a coffee.
5. Connect with friends of friends
Friends of friends is another great way to connect, because they already come with a stamp of approval from your bestie. If you've moved to a new area, and your friend can put you in touch with others, lean into that by asking them to hang out. This is the friendship domino effect and its powerful.
6. Take a Class or Workshop
Signing up for classes or workshops is not only a great way to learn something new but also an opportunity to meet people with similar interests. Whether it's a painting class, a dance workshop, or a cooking course, you may find potential friends among your classmates.
7. Strike up conversation at workout classes
Workout classes are a social scene in themselves, with attendees already having aligned interests and a built-in ice breaker for conversation. Ask them how they found the class, or where they got their cute new leggings, and soon you’ll be sipping a post-class coffee's together in no time.
8. Use apps
In today's digital age, apps can also be valuable tools for making friends. Join Facebook groups, use apps like Meetup or Eventbrite, or participate in online forums related to your hobbies or interests to connect with others in your area.
9. Volunteer
Volunteering is a fantastic way to meet new people while also giving back to the community. Whether it's at a local animal shelter, food bank, or community garden, volunteering can lead to meaningful connections with others who share your values, and if its is a cause you feel strongly about, you’ll likely find it easier to connect with people who share your feelings on the same topic.
10. Turn coworkers into friends
Although maybe a less obvious choice due to work-life boundaries, the office is a great place to meet friends with similar passions and interests. You can invite others as a group, or start small by asking your coworker out for lunch. Once out of the office, you may see this person from a different perspective—and you never know, you may just have a new office bestie!
11. Start your own group
If can't quite find the group your looking for, why not set up your own. Chances are if you like it, others will too, and nothing screams new friendships like those committed to joining you on a new venture!
12. Embrace the clunk
Making new friends as an adult can be clunky, but it is definitely worth the effort when you meet the right people for you. Be patient and put in the effort. Research shows it takes 50 hours to build a casual friendship, 90 hours to become real friends, and 200 hours to consider someone a close friend, so take your time, embrace the clunk, and believe in yourself.
If you have any more advice or questions, get involved and comment below.
You've got this!